Your search for the truth will take you in the opposite direction

Lainaus kirjasta ‘The Secret of the Twelve Stones’
(Colin P. Sisson / Total Press 2010).



1. The map
2. The adventure begins
3. Harold‘s horror
4. River crossing
5. The map‘s disappearance
6. Getting close
7. Treasure
8. Malkuth
9. Your search for truth will take you in the opposite direction
10. See that you cannot see
11. Now is all there is, yet seek it not
12. Jungle life
13. The mind knows not itself
14. What you value becomes your attachment and prison
15. You are not who you think you are
16. The unexpected
17. Beware of your benefactor
18. Being and doing, the two great powers lead you home
19. Alicia
20. The centre of your fear is a great power
21. Being truthful to the moment
22. Alicia returns
23. Thought is a good servant and a poor master
24. Know the two pathways home
25. Questions and answers
26. A chapter closes



Your search for truth will take you in the opposite direction

Harold found Malkuth sitting in what appeared to be a half-lotus yoga position, that he recognized from his own yoga lessons, with his eyes closed, as if in meditation. As Harold slowly approached, Malkuth, without opening his eyes, gestured to Harold to sit on the carpet opposite him. He was struck by the high quality of the fine and thick Persian carpet that covered much of the area of the clearing in the jungle the size of a very large room. He sat down and was amazed that such a thing could have been transported to such a remote part of the country, at least 50 kilometers of constant jungle from the nearest civilized town or village.

He looked for a few seconds at this man who appeared from nowhere with no explanation and with an amazing energy emanating from him. Malkuth‘s face was handsome with a rugged look of strength and experience, his facial features were strong and yet fine. His complexion was dark with no lines on his face and his age was impossible to tell, possibly passing from thirty-five to fifty-five. He was dressed in what appeared to be a deep green robe that was similar to a monk‘s robe with a white scarf around his head hiding his hair. He could not remember ever seeing a more handsome man and he guessed he was about six foot high, from his memory of him earlier that morning. Aware that this man might be conscious of him looking, Harold closed his eyes and attempted to meditate as he had been taught years earlier.

Harold‘s mind drifted to the chain of events that brought him to be sitting on a new carpet in the middle of the Amazon jungle with the most unusual man he had ever seen. He found it difficult to meditate and so allowed himself to go off on a chain of associated thoughts. Thinking over all his previous studies around the fringe areas of the human potential movement, yoga, meditation and workshops on breathing, he‘d found them more than helpful. Sometimes though, he found some of the people involved ungrounded and “flaky”, as he called them, with their hearts in the right place. How he came to end up working as a laborer for Jerry‘s demolition company for the last year of his working life was more on a whim to do something entirely different and he was persuaded only because Harry, the company‘s manager, was an old friend and needed some temporary help, which lasted for nearly a year until the finding of the stone map. His mind retraced the steps since that remarkable find of the box falling out of that wall until now. Perhaps fifteen minutes passed and Malkuth spoke.

“Welcome, Harold to my home in the jungle.”

Harold opened his eyes to the smile of Malkuth and as if in anticipation of a stream of questions from Harold, Malkuth spoke.

“I have lived in many countries and my origin was from Persia or what is known today as Armenia. I know of the stone slabs, having lived in South America for a long time, and they are known in some long-forgotten esoteric secret societies. The treasure of Eldorado was sometimes confused with these stones, which were regarded by the monks of the Aztecs as more valuable than a very large room filled with gold and diamonds. They buried them to stop them from falling into the hands of Spaniards, whose thirst for plunder was at its height at that time.

The monks believed that the new visitors from Europe would destroy them in their disappointment that they were not gold or the treasure they were seeking.”

Malkuth paused, looking deeply at Harold and then calmly continued.

“Oh, yes these slabs are very special, perhaps not the stones themselves but the information and wisdom they contain. They are very mystical, which is why you, not knowing the ancient writings, by being fully present with them can gleam an understanding of what is written, but not necessarily the wisdom itself. You have probably discovered this already.”

“Yes, and why can I only understand the first one and not the rest?”

“That is because they are in a special sequence and the wisdom is released in a particular way as a flow of energy and understanding. Not that I compare you with a child, but a good example is that a child must learn to walk before it can run.A student first learns the times table before learning high math. The flow of this energy works in a similar way. And we could talk for many hours about this and in future times we will continue this and similar discussions, but let us discuss the first slab. You brought it with you?”


“Look at it and read what appears in your mind as you look at each mark of the ancient writings.”

Harold removed the canvas wrappings and held the tablet up and in front of his face. That same strange feeling came over him and as he focused, the understanding revealed itself in his thoughts as if he was putting them there himself. He spoke his understanding out loud.

“Your search for truth will take you in the opposite direction. I have puzzled over this since I first read it and I must confess that it makes no sense to me. Isn‘t everyone searching for some truth, like God, or enlightenment or whatever?”

Malkuth nodded, acknowledging Harold‘s confusion, and asked: “Would you agree that a person seeks for something they feel they do not have?”

Harold nodded in agreement.

“And where do most people look for the truth they seek? Perhaps they look for answers in a philosophy, or a great teacher, or system of learning or knowledge, yes?”

“Where else is there to look?”

“Where else indeed! Looking for the truth outside of you is one way to find it, except in that finding is little more than a reflection of the real truth. It is like looking at the sun‘s reflection in dew drops or in the sparkle of the ripples on the surface of a lake and calling it the sun. They are only the sun‘s reflection. So, where can the truth be really found?”

“I have heard it many times that the truth is in each of us, but how do we access it? What is it and how would I know when I have found it?”

“How is it possible that someone who comes from a modern European culture as yourself, with no knowledge in ancient language is able to extract knowledge from markings in a stone that was carved 1500 years ago?”

“Is that how old they are?” Detecting an unspoken or un- signaled message from Malkuth that such small talk was not appropriate at this moment, Harold continued, “Ah, yes, maybe it was because suddenly the sky opened up and a bolt of enlightenment came and struck such…” His attempt to make a joke was meet with a blank expression and Malkuth‘s slightly raised hand to stop, yet Harold did not feel he was being corrected.

“Was it because I was present with the tablets that somehow influenced them or the energy they contained?”

“Are you asking me or are you suggesting this?”

Harold sat silent, looking at a pattern of exquisite beauty of the carpet he was sitting on that had caught his eye. Then, feeling Malkuth‘s gaze on him, he looked up into those most amazing eyes.

“I don‘t know how it works, but from what I have experienced so far with these stones, I would say that being present with them is what did it.”

A gentle smile came over Malkuth‘s face, “Maybe, Harold, just maybe that was what did it. And notice that it happened inside of you and not because of the stone tablet.” They smiled together. “But surely, the energy in the slab…”

Malkuth, still smiling gently, shook his head as if to stop him in that approach. Harold continued, “Okay, so intellectually knowing about the stones is not necessary, but simply being present is, yes?”

“What do you think?”

“So, the search for truth, no, let me say that again and not in a question form. Don‘t go searching for truth, just be present with what is before me and, and — my god this is amazing. Don‘t search for truth, just be present with what is and truth finds me.”

“Be with the truth of this moment and all else will be added to you, to borrow a phrase from the master Christian. Harold, when a person feels happiness, does that person go searching for it? When they feel loved, do they go looking for it, and if they feel free, do they go in search of freedom? And where are those feelings, in another person, situation or event or in us?”

“I don‘t follow what you mean by the feeling being in us, but of course it is us, so what is significant about that?”

“Let‘s look at it from another angle. A man comes to you and insults you, how do you feel?”


“Yes, angry and that is a feeling, yes? But what caused that feeling, the man‘s insult or what you told yourself about the man‘s words?”

“His insult, of course.”

“So, that means that whatever happens outside of you has authority over you?”

“No, um, I‘m not sure.”

“Remember your psychological studies about the fight/flight syndrome, Harold. An outside event happens like being attacked by a wild animal and what happens?”

“The second I register the danger, a message is sent from the brain at 400 kilometers per second that stimulates my glands to release adrenalin into my blood stream that stimulates my muscles to run or fight.”

“So Harold, was it the attacking animal that causes the adrenalin rush or something else?”

“The attacking animal.”

“So, what if the animal is attacking but you don‘t know it is approaching, or have no knowledge of attacking animals because you are too young or unconscious or looking in the other direction, would you still have a release of adrenalin?”

“No, because you wouldn‘t register the situation as being dangerous.”

“Exactly, so let me ask the question again: was it the attacking animal that causes the adrenalin rush or something else, like registering the fact?”

“It would be caused by me registering the fact.”

“It is true that everything that happens around us will cause us to interpret it according to our beliefs, past painful experiences that will cause us to register the fact in the way that we do, that will stimulate certain hormones to release emotions of love or of fear.”

“That‘s true”, Harold responded. “The environment can at best stimulate my own thought-process to interpret the event positively or negatively and therefore release certain chemicals into my blood stream that either creates love or fear, but the actual cause is completely dependent upon what I tell myself about the event. And what I am telling myself is creating huge tension inside of me, so in fact I am creating my own stress. That is amazing. I never looked at that this way before.”

“It is crucial in understanding the practice of being present. So someone insults you, why do you feel in the way that you do?”

“Because my telling myself that this man is wrong for insulting me, which is in fact, me insulting myself.” Harold laughed out loud and continued, “I think that is so funny. All humanity is convinced that the world is so terrible because it does terrible things to them and all the time they are doing it to themselves. What a laugh!”

“We can look at it from yet another angle. The man insults you. Where does the awareness of the insult happen, in the other man or inside your brain?”

“Inside me.”

“Where does the feeling of insult happen, in the other man or inside you?”

“Inside me.”

“Where does the tension happen, in the other man or inside of you?”

Harold nodded his understanding.

“So if there is so much happening inside of me, perhaps that is where my attention should be, yes?”

“Oh yes, but society encourages us to be outside ourselves and to see the outside as our authority. If in pain, take a painkiller. Someone insults you, take revenge or pretend that nothing happened; but we still do feel the tension inside.”

“So, let us return to the message of the tablet: what do you understand by that?”

Harold picked up the tablet again and read it out loud: “Your search for truth will take you in the opposite direction. When I am searching for something like truth, I search because I feel I don‘t have it and my actual searching is putting me into the future and therefore stops me from being present with the here and now. Only in being present in my here and now can I experience truth.”

Harold was silent as the most amazing wisdom that had ever entered his consciousness settled deep inside him. “My god, it is so simple and so amazing.”

A feeling of self-empowerment came over him. No one in his life had ever taught him like this. By not teaching him anything, but asking certain questions that prompted him to discover the answers himself.

Malkuth tilted his head slightly to one side as if to say ‘well done‘.

Harold continued: “All those seminars I‘ve done and all the self- improvement books I‘ve read that suggested that there was something wrong with me and that I needed to change, fix or improve myself were actually taking me in the opposite direction.”

“Perhaps not, Harold. Nothing is ever wasted and every experience teaches us something. Even learning some knowledge that is completely false will eventually have a benefit in a deeper understanding of the truth later on. Every person who is seeking a path of truth does so because they are afraid to trust their own inner guidance and are still looking outside themselves for answers to what to believe in, how to feel and how to behave. How long have you been doing that, Harold?”

“All of my life.”

“And remember the huge number of benefits you received along the way. You felt good and inspired many times.Perhaps you still looked outside for answers and many answers came, and contained in each one was the seed of your awakening that has eventually brought you to the Amazon jungle to find yourself. Humanity is still at the child state and there is nothing wrong with being immature. Humanity is still enjoying itself as a child and eventually each one will wake up and start to find themselves. Nothing was ever wasted.”

“Everyone will wake up?” Harold asked

“Yes, everyone, including those who walk the path of fear, the terrorists, the Mafia, the drug dealers, the thieves and those who are abusive and manipulative: all will eventually come home to themselves. There is no such thing as an evil person, just frightened people, and when a person is afraid they will do anything to survive, which is why we have all done so many crazy things: not because we were bad, but because we were afraid. We will talk more about this in the coming days.”

“Can I ask you a question about what we have just done here? Was it you asking me these things that prompted me or my intuition to find the answer, or was something else happening?”

“It was something like that. That may not be so important but how do you feel, right now, for that is important.”

“I feel confident and great. But who wouldn‘t in sitting with a master?”

Malkuth‘s hand came up again. “Let us be friends and therefore colleagues and not master or student. Such a relationship is not balanced and therefore the flow of energy can never pass between two people in the space of being present.A student will always feel less and a master more and what is mostly transferred is obedience. Obedience is what is passed between child and parent, slave and master, and our work together cannot work from such a space.”

“But, surely, you are more experienced in being present, which is what it seems to me that we are discussing here. I feel an immense benevolent power from you that must be born from deep experiences of living in the present.”

“You are very wise, Harold. It is true that I have some experience in being present, but that does not make me more elevated than you or anyone else. If there is an elevation then it is only in some people‘s ability to see further like a person can see further standing on the top of a mountain, and the person standing at the base can only see to the extent of his or her vision. Consciousness is no different. The person standing at the base of the mountain simply needs to be present with where he or she is standing and instantly is transformed into standing on the mountain top. But enough for today! How is your ankle?”

“Still very tender, but I‘ll survive.”

“You will survive? Perhaps this is another one of your jokes?”

“Oh, yes it is a common saying where I come from and it means in the long run I will be okay.
I have another question. You said at the beginning of today that you originated from Persia, or what is known today as Armenia. I think they stopped calling it Persia back around 1935. It seemed strange to me that you would put it like that, considering that you don‘t look old enough to have been born that long ago.”

Malkuth answered, smiling, “I have always liked the name, Persia. It is probably one of my attachments. “Changing the subject, Malkuth continued, “Can you visit tomorrow, walking this distance from your camp in your condition?”

Harold nodded.

“Please bring the second stone slab.”